School’s out for summer! Declares Alice Cooper, and yes it is! Finally, we meet our much awaited freedom – well, freedom for most of us that is.
For some, summer isn’t quite as enchanting as it was when we were all kids. Sure, we’re out of class, but not all of us go to school. Work doesn’t stop for us adults in the summer unless, of course, you’re a teacher and get paid to have your summer.
Why can’t we all be those lucky people?
As I was sitting in my car at a red light dripping sweat with all four windows down (because not all of us are fortunate enough to have an air conditioning that works properly, grrrr), I heard a lady on the radio ranting about how summer sucks. I caught myself nodding my head while she explained, and I let out a laugh.
We all spend so much time waiting for the sun, the warmth, the laughter, America’s birthday, that sometimes we forget just how damn irritating summer can really be.
So, as soon as I got home, I sat down right here in front of my laptop and started typing this list of pros and cons of summer. Let’s start with the cons since my shirt is still soaking wet from sweating to death.
Cons of Summer:
1. It’s f**king hot. Fortunately, people that are farther away from the equator get to have a nice breezy summer (or perhaps you live by the water and the breeze is always blowing), but smack dab in the middle of the deep deep South, we are not so privileged. Right now, it’s 90 degrees Fahrenheit with humidity at 50%. That means the heat index is at 95 degrees (so in simpler terms, it feels like it’s 95 but it’s only 90…..) Ugh. Look out, southerners – and everyone else too I guess, because apparently it was almost 90 in Alaska recently – it’s only gonna get hotter from here. Grab your tank tops and deodorant. We in fo a loooong ride.
2. While it seems like everyone’s out on the lake or ocean, many of us peasants work what seems like 24/7. We get to stare out our office windows or into our computer screens at all the little people having a blast while we slave away. I guess all that slaving pays off eventually, or does it?
3. The kids are out of school. All of them. They’re everywhere. Now, hold up, I don’t have kids of my own yet, and I do take a liking to most kids, but I can feel *hard feels* for the parents who have one too many kids (or maybe one is too many) and have to run around the house with them Monday-Sunday making sure they don’t destroy everything. The kids being out of school also changes the dynamics of things like traffic and shopping. On a normal week day, you could go to the store and not one kid is there – only the sweet gray haired ladies and soccer moms – but during the summer, there’s no one but kids in the store. *Excuse me darlings I need to scoot by you* You would say to the little tots standing smack dab in the middle of the isle – no matter how much you wanna yell, scream, and pull all your hair out.
4. Everything outside seems so much more complicated (mostly because it’s f**king hot). From car trouble to sitting at the park trying to find shade under one of the very few dogwood trees planted scantily around, and from waiting in drive thru lines to taking care of your garden, everything is a huge hassle – especially if you’re a woman who wears makeup and tries to dress nicely each day (the struggle). I choose most of the time to go for some sunblock, breathable shoes, a cold drink, and a tank top; that way, all my efforts of looking nice aren’t completely ruined an hour later when I return back to my air conditioned apartment – thank God that one isn’t broken.
5. People are way more irritable in the summer (probably has to do with the fact that it’s so, oh you know… F**KING HOT). There have been several research studies on this that I remember going over in class. People in the summer are just more moody. Our body temperatures change and fluctuate with the heat. Next time you’re out in the sun with friends consuming other external substances (or not – either way), keep this in mind, because someone is bound to get a little too hot headed. Blame our good friend Summer on this one.
Alright, alright. Enough with the negativity. Let’s talk about why summer doesn’t suck.
Pros of Summer:
1. It’s not cold anymore! Yay! No more sweaters and freezing your ass off in line at the movie theater. Finally, we can stand in the sun and appreciate it’s brightness and warmth instead of begging for it’s services. If you’re too hot, turn on the air, bro!.. well, unless you’re me, then you need to take your car or house (not literally) to the shop and get it fixed 😛 I try my best not to spend too much time indoors during our warm months.
2. Kids are awesome! You can find awesome jobs during the summer if you’re a young person like working at a summer camp, lifeguarding, boat or deck hand, princess birthday parties, and more. Parents are also begging for some time off, so get ready for some babysitting cash, y’all. Plus, spend enough time around kids, and you might learn a thing or two about life you never thought of before. You might even start believing in fairies again.
3. Man, summer is filled with some good movies. This summer, for example, we have the new Mission Impossible, Jurassic World, Pitch Perfect 2, The Avengers, Mad Max, the remake of Poltergeist, San Andreas, Disney’s Tomorrowland, the TV show turned movie Entourage, and Disney & Pixar’s Inside Out. Oh yea, and that movie Pixels with Adam Sandler about PacMan, Mario, Donkey Kong and the rest of the awesome old school games coming to life and trying to destroy the world. Epic.
Looks pretty awesome, am I right?
Okay, next pro:
4. Good music, good beer, and good friends. Not only does the summer fill up with good new movies to watch on a lazy rainy afternoon, but it also heats up the music industry. All your favorite musicians are coming up with the best new beats for your sunny enjoyment. Good beer is kind of a given in any social situation – go local this summer! Craft beer is the new thang, and friends are always cool.
5. You get to have cookouts all the time. Mmmm, the smell of a freshly lit, smoldering grill. That’s the song of the south, in my opinion. I love some good meat, and the men around me know how to cook it just right. The moral here? – find men who know how to cook and stay best friends with them for the rest of your life. Just kidding, I can grill a mean steak too. All it takes is a little care, some good music, a beautiful sunset, and your favorite (or even not so favorite) people.
6. WATER!! And I’m not just talking drinking water y’all.. If you’re like me, then you probably enjoy a cool dip in the neighborhood pool or diving off the back of a boat into the murky water of your local river. Maybe you enjoy a little more adrenaline and love to go cliff jumping at the lake, or better yet, going parasailing over the ocean. Whatever it is, get in that water and soak up that sun, because in just a few short months (unless you’re Southern California, Puerto Rico, or even Fort Lauderdale), it’ll be too cold for your toesies.
7. Last but not least, lemonade. Yep, that’s right. Lemonade. One of my favorite parts of summer is riding down the road or traveling through family neighborhoods searching for those cute little faces, hand painted signs, and fresh cups of Country Time lemonade. My favorite part is that kids sell it cheap – the most expensive I’ve ever come across was $2, and even when they only sell it for 50 cents a cup, I still throw a little extra in there for an even brighter smile. I mean, come on guys, even Chick Fil’A is getting in on the lemonade trend with their new frosted lemonade – although everyone knows they’ve always had the best lemonade. Try one, it’ll change your life, maybe.
Okay, so I guess there are more pros than cons to summer – it is my favorite season after all – but let’s be real… it is still way too f**king hot out there for this gal. I hope you enjoyed my summer rant, and please feel free to add any of your own pros and cons of summer below in the comment box!
Until we meet again,